Deployment Lesson for COVID #10: Quantity time doesn't replace Quality Time

May 4, 2020

It's now been a couple months since we started our temporary-new-normal... which we now know is just a "bridge season" to whatever the next "normal" is. And that's sort of the way of it... after a slow-burn, long-term trauma, things never go back to the way they were, for we have changed. 

If you're like me, you've settled into this new way of doing things. My body jolts when I see large crowds of people or unsanitized doorknobs in movies, I've gotten used to not setting an alarm, it no longer occurs to me to run to the grocery store if I run out of something. This feels like life now. 

And if you're like me, you're getting A LOT of quantity time with the people you love. 

But here's the thing with quantity time... the more of it we have, the easier it is to forget to engage in quality time. 

My deployment lessons are all from the homefront; surely these would sound very different if Jonathan were writing them as someone who has actually lived far from home and everyone he loves. But as the homefront caregiver, I had LOTS of quantity time with our kids during the last deployment. They were too young to stay home alone, so I was with them all.the.ever.loving.time. 

My oldest and me, during our Deployment Date

And in the midst of that, I realized that I hadn't been great at looking them in the eyes, or having one-on-one heart conversations with them. So, thanks to the people in our village who watched two kids at a time for me, I made special dates with each one of the kids. They weren't extravagant, but they were *time.* 

Jonathan and I have done the same thing during this pandemic: we are intentional to do one-on-one things with each of the kids, and with each other. Car rides to nowhere, sword fights in the back yard, walks to check the mail - these have become important to our family, as ways to connect in the midst of constant presence. 

If you've been getting lots of quantity time with the people you love, have you had enough quality time? How has your family intentionally leaned into *quality* time in the midst of constant presence?